Oh my God, What the Fuck? How the heck do I even... FUCK!

What the heck, man? Where the hell do I begin...

Could it be with her profile? Yes. I agree, her description does sound excellent. That seems about right.

It was SmileyGirl69 for her online name. To be clear, she was young, cute, and ready to fuck. There were filters on all of her pictures that made her look like she had cat ears, flower hats, and sparkles, but I still thought she was cute. Not cute enough to say "ugly from every angle except one." And her round plastic glasses made her eyes look bigger than they were. Her brown hair was long and curly. There's no doubt about it—that was pretty hot. But her bio really caught my attention.

Hey there! My name is Claire and I just want to meet new people. I’m the kind of girl you could take home to your dad, but I also know how to have fun! I’m really easy to get along with and not tricky at all, please. Personally, I don’t care what other people think about me because I’m just living my best life. I will keep doing that **UNTIL I** can’t. I think we’d get along great if that’s okay with you! Just got over a bad breakup. This is not a real search for me right now. Things do happen, though!

Find me one guy who wouldn't have slid into her direct messages, and I'll find you one lie. It was clear that this girl wanted to be fucked, and she couldn't have said it any better. Luckily for her, we both liked the same things. I wanted to find something lighthearted that wouldn't bind me to anything…