It's been Five months since I slept.

Not a single night's sleep in Five months. Is it even possible to do that? For decades, Randy Gardner has held the record at 11 days and 25 minutes, but sleep is more than just going asleep at night. There's more to sleep than that.

At night, our brains go through a number of cycles. The one that might be the most important is REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, which is when we think. They have to be done, whether they are notable or not.Our thoughts will slowly fall apart over weeks and months without REM until the brain shuts down.I miss the sweet happiness of dreams so much. I'd even rather have dreams for the rest of my life than be tortured all the time.

Fatal Familial Insomnia is a very rare condition that I have. As cool as the name sounds, I can promise you it's nothing but a curse.I will never be able to think because of this illness. I can only fall into light sleep. The kind of insomnia that is killing me is the kind that is slowly but surely changing my brain into Swiss cheese. I will be dead by the end of this year. Please don't feel sorry for me or try to comfort me. I'm happy with my life and accept what will happen. I'm going to die soon, but I'm afraid I have to pay for a terrible mistake I made.

Not getting enough sleep was already putting a lot of stress on my mental and physical health about a week after I was diagnosed. I started to see fuzzy shapes moving around in my peripheral vision, even when I thought I was by myself.