How I Made People Believe That I Am The God
I was born without intelligence. Actually, I was a complete dimwit and a handicap. Since I was unable to walk, I had to drag myself over the forest floor, making sure I never left my mother's side. I now see that mother maintained a close watch on my brothers and myself, even though I believed she didn't care much for us growing up and generally left us fend for ourselves. She was much like the rest of us: frigid, aloof, and ignorant. However, while my siblings and I were learning to forage for food, she kept an eye out for big animals and other dangers. Looking back, it was brutal, and a lot of my siblings didn't make it very far.
Crawling about on the forest floor, eating anything that seemed even somewhat edible, was a tough life. I was quite little when mother vanished, leaving only two of my brothers and myself. This happened while I was slowly growing up. They were both killed not long after that.
However, despite everything, I was able to stay alive. Crawling about in the muck while fighting my impairment, I ate and slept wherever I could. A modest but steady improvement in my ability to create ambushes and traps for small wildlife allowed me to overcome my handicap. Life was still tough and I was still basically a complete moron, so it didn't matter how smart I felt I was.
Even though I believed I was really good at the time, my mental disability and physical impairment made it such that my survival in the bush was mainly down to chance. Slowly but surely, I would travel from one spot to another. I would eat whatever edible that was lying about, which was largely little creatures that I could capture, but I could go without food for days at a time.
After some while, I came upon a little stream that was next to an even smaller cave. For a time, I considered it home. Even though it wasn't much, it was well-hidden and made me feel safer. When I could get the energy, I would go down to the stream to soak up some tropical sun, lie beneath some trees, and eat as much as I could. Those were the little things that brought me joy when I was younger.
Being disabled made fleeing away from predators impossible. Because of this, I figured out how to cower. I became adept at observing my surroundings. The importance of being quiet and loud was taught to me. I managed to stay alive despite the overwhelming odds. Once again, looking back, I thought I was being witty when I wasn't.
Up until I died of starvation or ran out of luck, it was my whole existence. That, however, is the true beginning—or rather, the proper ending—of my narrative.
As I scuttled down the forest floor, I desperately sought any edible item I could find. I was ravenous after being hungry for what seemed like an eternity. Crawling and dragging myself into the forest in search of scraps or tiny animals to ambush was my only skill. When I dragged myself out of a little bush, I saw it.
As it prepared to pounce, the jaguar dipped low to the earth. It was preoccupied with something else, but on a normal day I may have been its immediate dinner. I stayed still, not even breathing, in the hopes that it would not notice me. With its intense gaze befitting a hunter, it drew nearer to the ground, evidently getting ready to attack. Curiously, I sneaked a peek at its intended destination.
What I saw was a very strange bird, enormous and potentially harmful all by itself. It was a veritable kaleidoscope of feathers and plumage, a crown of bright colors, and it was almost as big as the jaguar. My only awareness was that the jaguar was threatening to attack the enormous bird at any second; I failed to appreciate the creature's peculiarity at the time.
Well, it was the case. Try your best, however. As soon as the jaguar jumped, the bird took flight and flew into the treetops, with the cat close after. Eventually, I backed into the little clearing after standing still for a while to see if it would come back. There wasn't much to see, so I wriggled my way up the little hill the bird had been perched on. When I got to the top, I saw it was really a gigantic nest. And much to my joy, there were three enormous eggs of an odd hue nestled within.
Naturally, I devoured them all at that same moment before dragging myself back to my regular sleeping place. Being able to sleep well after eating was always a perk in and of itself.
However, it marked the beginning of a shift. In the days that followed, I became aware of details I had previously ignored. At first, it was just little things, like seeing objects in my environment that I hadn't previously. A little more vibrancy and clarity in the contours of the world was apparent. My ability to multitask much improved.
Over the course of a few weeks, I came to realize that I could come up with more complex strategies than just sitting about and quietly waiting for anything to pass by so I could seize it or searching for discarded materials. I began to become creative with my trapping techniques, making use of rocks and other natural elements to capture my prey. I would seek for areas with plenty of foliage and shrubs to rest in so that I could hear any ground-level predators. Even though I was still crippled, my intelligence was increasing.
I, too, started to bulk up. The size is massive. I went from being a skinny little kid to a towering behemoth in the space of a few months. Now well-fed and about six feet tall, with a muscular build. Even though I had to crawl, I was able to do it with a newfound zeal and speed. My emotions were a mix of optimism and elation, but I was completely unprepared for what was next.
The ability to walk returned to me as the months and years passed. At about twelve feet tall and equally powerful, I stood like a giant of the forest, making me the only predator that could hold my ground. Careening aimlessly through the forest, I devoured whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, wherever I pleased. Stone and fallen trees were the materials for my first dwelling. I ruled the jungle with an iron fist.
This was the first tree I ever climbed. I will never forget the feeling of conquering my kingdom from the peak of the tallest tree I could locate, basking in the sunshine after climbing hundreds of feet into the forest canopy. A verdant expanse that seemed to go on forever in every way. A playground that had the potential to swallow me whole, yet now belonged to me. Actually, I went ahead and did it.
I started going on more trips. I uncovered vast cavern networks, lakes, trees, rivers, and waterfalls. Additionally, a great deal of flora and fauna that were before unknown to me. There were amphibians and birds, felines and spiders, herbivores and herb-eating mammals. The tree monkeys were the only other creatures that I saw displaying signs of intellect similar to my own, so I grew to adore observing them.
For that reason, I was very cautious to gather a little one that had been hurt and bring it along with me.
I restored its health, provided it with food, gained its trust, and eventually it became my little friend. It wasn't necessary to have names back then, thus they were all blank. I had never before had such an intense and abiding affection for a single living being. My first companion.
My growth appeared to go on forever, so I had to be very careful. Based on my recollection and estimations, I may have been close to thirty feet tall at that point, making this little monkey seem like a fly in contrast. But the happiness he provided me on our journeys together, in the little fruits he picked for me, and in his sound sleep beside me made me understand how alone I had felt those decades before when I had wandered the woods alone. I feel like I'm never really doing anything anymore; I'm simply watching.
I was naturally devastated when dad passed away due to old age in peace. I could feel it coming since I had seen his gradual decline. The world around me changed as time passed; landscapes changed, rivers changed, animals came and departed, and I appeared to defy the years by continuing to develop. Following his passing, I reverted to a more observant period of my life, spending much of my time lost in nature and taking in my surroundings aurally.
Other monkeys, but these were much more like me—extremely intelligent—and I don't know how long I stayed like that until they discovered me. They were quite constant in their rapid-fire noisemaking towards one another. I think they made use of tools that were just as intelligent as mine, if not smarter. Naturally, I caused them great fear.
I stood almost as tall as the trees, dwarfing them in my colossal presence. I usually just let them alone, but I would sometimes sneak over to check on them. They constructed peculiar dwellings from twigs and foliage, not unlike to the one I had constructed from pebbles prior to my dispensation with the need for such an endeavor. The night was illuminated in ways I had only seen before during the raging thunder of a sky that seemed to be capable of wielding fire.
More and more of them started coming to see me, and I was able to earn their confidence over time, but their apprehension and distrust never quite disappeared. We were able to converse effectively when I took the time to grasp the meaning of their sounds. They often approached me with inquiries on the area. Prime areas for hunting, with access to water and potential for a new settlement. I had gone almost everywhere at that point.
Eventually, a few of them began making eerie stone sculptures near my bed. I approached a young man who had come to beg for my assistance in cutting down a massive tree that was about to topple over his shack and inquired about the items. In order for me to bestow good fortune onto them, he informed me, they were left as offerings. Their lives are brief and difficult, he said, but a deity like me might make all the difference.
To be honest, I had never heard of a god before then. I had developed feelings for these kids, so I was already giving them a hand whenever they needed it. Still, I could have done more; he was correct. A whole deal more.
As I towered over their settlement, I could see the fear on the faces of many of the smallest inhabitants. It was evident I was there to assist by swiftly removing the troublesome tree and placing it in a safe location. Maybe they were anticipating anger over a perceived affront; I don't know. In the years that followed, our partnership flourished, and they came up with fantastic, ingenious ideas that capitalized on my stature and power. During that time, we managed to do in a matter of days what would have taken them decades to achieve alone, if such a thing was even feasible. We also built a more sturdy communal building out of stones that towered above the surrounding woods to replace the flimsy shelters. Careful stacking of the enormous mound of rocks allowed for the creation of additional living space. I would eventually learn that it was a primitive pyramid.
I became deeply involved in the lives of my new pals, and things were going swimmingly for a time. It was just like my long-lost monkey friend, but there were a lot more of them and I could really communicate with them. We achieved a lot, and it was a thrilling period for me. We excavated ditches so water could flow to places where crops might be grown. Joined in our stargazing, we pondered the secrets of the forest and the universe. New acquaintances would emerge after I had witnessed old ones get old and pass away.
However, the number of friends increased over a long period of time. Continued to expand. Continued to expand. As the population grew, people started fighting over what seemed to be an endless supply of food from the forest. I could only make out the ones I was quite close to since their sounds had altered. As they started hunting and warring with neighboring villages, they started asking me for blessings and assistance. Every time, I said no.
The last straw was when the town I was a part of tried to have a girl sacrificed in my name so that they might get my support for an impending attack. Their petty behavior had now reached a breaking point, and I was only made worse by my attempts to comprehend and put up with them. All the people, all the communities, all the disputes, and all the misery were just too much. It was as if I were back to my old self: a helpless cripple who had no idea what to do, no idea where to go, and no way to go anywhere. When they laid that tiny child on the altar, I remembered for the first time how powerless I had felt.
They offered their lives, and I took it. I abducted the child and never looked back from that village. I took great pains to protect the small kid and retreated as far as possible from that location. Despite her timid and timid nature, she eventually came to trust me. Leaving the small people behind, we continued south till we arrived to a massive rock adorned with a cascading waterfall. On top of the cliff, by the waterfall, with a breathtaking view of the forest below, I constructed a little stone cottage for her.
A long time later, she even went out of her way to tell me her name, so I never even considered asking. I found out its name was Sacniete, a lovely ancient name that I will never forget, even if forest names don't mean anything.
For many years, we were inseparable. Once she reached adulthood, additional tiny ones found us. Like before, they'd come seeking guidance, but this time their demands would be far more stringent. I used to avoid or avoid talking to the small folks because I was afraid they wouldn't trust me. There were times when I could no longer make out any of their sounds. In my absence, Sacniete would assume responsibility and act as my representative when I felt overwhelmed. She went to extreme lengths, like me, including wearing feathers on her head, all in an effort to garner the respect and admiration of the tourists and make them realize that I trusted her. She was the one you were practically expected to talk to if you came to see me after a while.
I had no problem with it. Because we were both privileged children, she never once lied about me. Trapped by destiny but with a unique gift to aid others, I had faith in her abilities to remain faithful. It took some time, but I finally realized that she was competent. I saw her bring people together, break down barriers, and even resolve a conflict. She was a politician who understood how to utilize my name and influence to affect the small people, whereas I was just a basic forest person. So that they may be improved.
She was more beloved to me than that small monkey. Her intelligence and resoluteness belied her kindness and gentleness. Things that she picked up from our guests, which I was previously unaware of, she proceeded to teach me. We were completely self-sufficient, thus we paid for information with knowledge. Math, astronomy, philosophy, and other branches of study gradually made their way to me. Even though it was older than most of the trees, it opened my eyes to a new part of the environment that I had previously ignored. The fact that these little beings had such extraordinary intelligence and creativity has always astounded me, and it was ultimately her who restored my confidence in them.
Although I was mostly confined to one location, I resumed my previous level of activity, studying, philosophizing, and doing all I could to be of service to the underprivileged. I gulped in information and shared it with everybody who wanted it. The small people were glad to see me, and Sacniete even gave me a name; while they had called me many things before, this was the first one I really took to heart, and I was now too huge to wander freely through the woods without destroying them.
During that time, my heart virtually outpaced my physical growth.
My heart shattered anew when she passed away. The accident was quite unfortunate. Now that I had grown to about 140 feet in height, I was so enormous that I could hardly walk through the forest without stepping on everything. As a consequence, I usually simply stayed still at the waterfall's peak, either sleeping or gazing out over the enormous and picturesque forest, framed by mountains hundreds of kilometers beyond.
She had gotten dangerously near to me as I slept that night, and for some awful twist of destiny, I rolled over, and when I woke up, I discovered that I had crushed her to death. To be honest, I hardly recognized her. While I had seen the tiny ones' tears before, it was the first time I had ever experienced genuine tears of my own. I had no idea I could pull it off.
After that, I dove farther into the jungle, trying to avoid anybody or anything. I was so enormously huge compared to everyone else. I wished I could go inside a huge cave and never come out, but it seems like finding a cave of that size is next to impossible right now. The small ones ultimately found me again, as they usually had, after what seemed like an eternity. This was just another pattern in my existence.
However, things were different this time. My name lingered in their minds. They presented me with presents and refreshments. They begged me for my wisdom and assistance in rescuing and bettering their lives once again. Even though I was distrustful, indifferent, and depressed, I loved being in their presence. But in the end, they invited me to their town, and I consented after some
thought.
Upon my arrival, I saw a landscape that had undergone a remarkable transformation. Devastating deforestation, with agriculture rising in its place, and a magnificent metropolis fashioned from piled stone, reminiscent of the one I had constructed long ago but grander and more sophisticated. Additionally, there existed an infinite amount of little individuals.
The destruction of the forest was so extensive that it was impossible to make out any trees beyond the edge of the city. I felt a wave of terror wash over me as I stood there, towering above everything. For some reason, I kept thinking this was all my fault. I ought to have anticipated this outcome. The small people were so cunning that the forest turned against them; I should never have assisted them. Or maybe I ought to have been more helpful and instructed them to be protectors of the forest rather than vandals.
I turned around and went back the way I came, completely silent. After a time of following me and calling out my name, they finally gave up and went back to their abandoned house.
I continued southward. Much to the south. That long-gone bird kept popping into my head in my
dreams. Did this one exist just in this form? By eating its eggs, what harm had I caused to it or its species? Having such ideas was always in the back of my mind, even if I wasn't smart enough to have them while I did it. The ease with which one may ruin something lovely due to a lack of knowledge is astounding.
At last, I located a fresh cave—my cave—that was big enough to accommodate me comfortably, and I slept off. Just as before, I have no idea how much longer. Time presumably elapsed. The small people roused me from my slumber once again.
Their sounds were different, but from what I could tell, they hadn't altered much. After I finally got a handle on things, they filled me in on the situation. Stone towns that provided food and shelter for enormous populations of little humans were part of this supposedly unprecedented dominion. They assured me they were no longer reliant on the forest, which left me scratching my head over how so many people managed to live off of its bounty. They said that they had subdued the wilderness.
At one point, I recalled questioning one of their so-called wise men about the fate of the elderly folks I'd observed engaging in a similar activity before. He informed me that their towns had long since been deserted and that they had sought refuge in the forest. This gave me faith that they, too, would go back to the woods at some point. Though I did send him away, I refrained from sharing my feelings with him.
The number of people approaching me increased rapidly, and I had no idea that they were cutting down trees and killing animals as they built monuments around my cave. They kept coming back no matter how many times I attempted to stop them. Years of disturbed sleep finally got the best of me, and I ran away from them in a rage one night. I continued southward.
Time passed, and I settled into a new house. It was appropriate, but one of many on my travels. In the depths of a sinkhole, concealed from view. I would finally be able to relax here since no one else could descend thus far into the ground. Little folks are gone. An end to melancholy.
This time, however, the sound was distinct. Noises that grate, spin, and tear. Fire and ash odors, together with otherworldly sounds. When I awoke in my secret room, I sensed a shift, but I couldn't put my finger on when. Neither the forest nor tiny humans made these sounds. I needed to look into it.
Smoke billowed from the trees as I rose up and peered out of my cave; vast sections of woodland were engulfed in flames. I decided to check it out and saw these little individuals hacking, burning, and ripping at the woods with these weird equipment I'd never seen before. Tools with a lot of noise. Equipment that causes harm.
As soon as they saw me, a few of them started yelling and running away in a panic. I didn't get it; there weren't any crops or cities in this area. Why were they clearing the woodland of its trees and even setting fires to some of them? They aren't even making use of tree wood as they formerly did. As I made my way across the rubble, I could see that the destruction seemed to go on forever. I could make out huge herds of exotic creatures I'd never seen before, as well as bizarre buildings that were drastically different from the stone and thatch structures I'd seen previously. The small people had transformed the forest into grassland.
For a few years, I kept vigil over the region, warding off anybody brave enough to go in. As I patrolled and explored, I destroyed the small people's assault infrastructure in the forest. I was very careful not to harm any of them; in fact, it was easy because they would run away whenever I was around. However, I became heartless and began to see the tiny people as a plague—a sickness that I had let to fester—because of this. Once again, I blamed myself and thought I could have stopped it.
Time kept ticking away. Through many days, seasons, and years. Some time ago, I saw an unusual bird swooping over my head. Even though I know now that it was an airplane, when I saw it I thought of the bird I had seen when I was a little child. Stunning, enormous, and regal. It was moving at a tremendous pace that I couldn't keep up with, so I watched as it dipped behind the mountain range. In my mind, I could still see the bird's uncharted territories. Perhaps such places do not have little people.
However, I was unable to halt the devastation regardless of my efforts. There will always be a lot of fire, tiny groups, and primitive tools. Trying to be everywhere at once would be impossible for me. It was depressing.
After some time had passed, an elderly guy eventually located me and began communicating with me using strange sounds. I tried to ignore him at first, but he eventually stopped and started sleeping next to me every night. I was lonely and he appeared harmless, so I let him remain for a bit so he could teach me new sounds. He would come every day and make the same noises at me. Over time, we improved our ability to communicate.
Like me, he was born in the woods, and he gave me the name Fabio. Strange, fantastic, and horrifying things were among the things he told me. Currently, the property is utilized for livestock ranching, he informed me. He informed me that the silver bird was really a machine made by tiny humans. He filled me in on his knowledge of physics, history, and society. That all throughout the globe, there were whole countries populated by little humans. That the little folk had triumphed above all.
His seeming sadness led me to believe he was just like me. He said that the traditional methods were no longer understood by anyone. Residing in the garden and taking just what you need. He informed me that my legend had faded into obscurity, that I was little more than a tale repeated in schools or to the children of frontiersmen to terrify them. The fact that those who said they saw me were treated with skepticism. He went on to say that he had seen me as a little girl fleeing from my parents at the forest's edge, and that he had dedicated his whole life to finding me ever since.
Little folks never failed to amaze.
As I remained hidden in my cave, I was comforted by his expertise and the companionship he offered. He was my chess teacher, my story teller, and my book giver. These were far more complex than the ancient stone carvings and their meanings, which I had seen. I lusted for knowledge and began to read. At regular intervals, he would leave on a mission and return with more books, photos, and even a movie, which I would wolf down. The years flew by, and I seldom ever ventured out of the cave.
The small people were getting closer by the day, and he finally told me I had to overcome my worries and do something about it. However, I was aware that he could see my wounded soul; he was kind, allowing me to relax without pressuring me; and he was aware that the small people had shattered my heart.
Unfortunately, damaged things can mend, and when he died a few years down the road, I was back on my own. Eternal, not like the tree, but like the stone I lived on, I understood that all things were transient. What did it matter if I did nothing? Everything was destined to change and perish anyway.
Thus, I dozed off. I am unsure about the duration. Ages might have passed.
At some point, the sounds of the young ones roused me once again. Well, in this particular instance, it is undoubtedly you. I vaguely recall being half-tempted to round you all up, take you to the forest's edge, and then tell you to never come back.
However, I stood back and watched you without getting in the way to see what you were up to. It came as a surprise to me that you all were quite considerate of your environment, considering my already low level of confidence in the small people. I was even ready to crush you if you dared to walk on my toes.
Having watched you for a number of weeks, I can attest that you do things like study flora, collect data, and save animals. Like the small people of old, I watched you investigate and enjoy the forest's wonders. The same way I did it. It dawned on me that you were the researchers the wise old man had mentioned. It was meant for you to gain knowledge, not cause havoc.
I made up my mind then to get my name out there. I anticipated your fear, but I had become used to it. Even though I vividly recall the expressions on your faces during my first presentation, I can only presume that your natural interest about science took over after I established my innocence. Just like the other little individuals I've known in the past, I think you're kind, caring, and have good intentions; my curiosity is what drives you.
That is why I have complete faith in you to hear my tale. I beg you to spread the word and lend me a hand; after all, I was once worshipped as a deity, but now I feel as weak as a tiny snake sliding about in the dirt of a forest floor.
I then gazed up at the enormous, towering feathered snake and switched off the recording. That was the last thing I needed, I informed him, and I promised to see him again soon. As we cautiously retreated into the woods, abandoning the cavern we had spent weeks investigating, he nodded in comprehension but observed with a sad expression on his face. We were hoping to find a massive uncharted network full with species that haven't been recorded before. The discovery of this specific uncatalogued species was unexpected.
Just one day before we'll be picked up at the airfield, we're preparing to camp, and I'm writing this journal of his recording. The rest of the crew is in agreement that we should be careful not to draw unnecessary attention to him, but I'm not sure whether anybody will believe me or assume I manipulated our images. I must take action, however. After those first days of fear and confusion, when we didn't sure if we had found a monster or were about to die, I'll never forget the first words he spoke to me. Contrary to expectations, the monster was everything but.
When he first talked to us, he stated something that I will always remember:
My eyes have been fixed on you. Get over it. Been a long time, I've been here. Everything is shifting, and I'm back to my old tricks of wriggling in the muck. Someone I loved very much long ago gave me the name Quetzalcoatl when I was a small snake in the wild. Once again, I feel as weak as a serpent.
You are indispensable to me. The tiny people continue to grow, while my house continues to shrink. I have to go further and deeper into hiding every year to get away from their sparkly birds and stinging smoke.
To you, I may seem large, but to you, I am just a little mud-dwelling creature.
I need your assistance to keep my house.
